Four Licks Deemed Impossible By Food & Drug Administration

 

After extensive research by the Food & Drug Administration, it has been determined that 4 is simply NOT sufficient licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop!

'Even with the most liberal salivation of the test subjects utilized', researchers say, 'digesting of the outer candy shell requires far more attempts to reach the center core'. Though a fully accurate figure as to the actual number of licks needed may still be some years off, estimates are something in the neighborhood 3 to 4 times that number. Test subjects included a highly inebriated Saint Bernard & former New York Governor Rudy Giuliani.

Notorious perpetrator of this long standing misconception, Professor Sonova B. Owl (when asked of the anomaly) is quoted as saying, 'WHO, Who... knew?'

FDA reports that their next step will be to hopefully come up with a solution which will prevent the pops' 'Tootsie Center' from becoming hermetically stuck to the consumers teeth. Earlier suggestions from the White House (common household bleach) have already been ruled out

by Thrashpondo Pons

Gamilon Staff Writer